Monday, July 22, 2013

breathing without you.

It was like coming up for air
After holding my breath for so long it felt like
I'd never reach blue skies
Now I'm grazing the clouds with my fingertips
Until you drag me back down.

It was like a cool breeze on my face
When the wind shifts in the right direction
After waiting for hours
And it finally blows you to your destination
Until you pull me back home.

It was like the first rain in spring
When everything feels fresh and new
Anything can happen
You can feel in the air that possibilities are endless
Until you lay out our map.

It was like coming up for air
When every breath you breathe is stale
And the first taste sets your lungs free
Until you're burning.
And now I know, without you, possibilities are endless.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Love As A Weapon

I wonder how long people have used love as a weapon.
"I love you but I'm mad at you so I'm going to withhold that love until you do or say the things that will make me happy."
I wonder how many people have uttered the words, "I love you, but..."

We say good night. Silence. Who will cave first? Neither party says it. They go to bed stewing. Because God forbid we let ourselves be vulnerable. God forbid I let myself feel "weak."

Just because we're angry doesn't mean we don't care. So why do we act like we don't? If anything, it just shows how much we care. After all, isn't the opposite of love, indifference?

I like to think I will always cave. No matter how angry someone makes me, or how exhausted and rundown I feel, I won't forget to say I love you. Because if tomorrow never comes and I didn't say it tonight? I'd never get a chance to go back and make that right.

(I didn't mean to rhyme there, it just happened.)

Friday, October 12, 2012

Tis the Season

for debates and ad campaigns.

After the presidential debate last week, I read every where that Mitt Romney "won" the debate. The reasons behind this being that he was more energetic, enthusiastic, passionate, relatable. What bothered me the most was the fact that people could say Mitt Romney won, but I don't recall him ever really saying anything of substance. President Obama stood his ground, made factual statements, and didn't smirk at Romney's expense once, at least that I noticed. He was everything the President of the United States of America should be. Romney, on the other hand, seemed as though he really did practice his "zingers"... While Obama spoke of his plans for our country, his policies, what he would like to see for the future, and outlines (mostly) how he would like to achieve this, Romney made jabs at the President and stuck to the offense. I'm still unsure of Romney's plan for our country, if elected.
The vice presidential debate was significantly different. Vice President Joe Biden openly laughed at many of Paul Ryan's statements, referred to him condescendingly as "my friend here" and cut him off on several occasions. But can you really blame him? I don't know if Paul Ryan knows how to tell the truth, and though he seemed to be well prepped for this debate, there were countless times it seemed he was backed into a corner.
This morning I read an article comparing Paul Ryan to John F Kennedy, youthful and likable, and Joe Biden to Richard Nixon, old and crabby. I was in shock. It flabbergasted me that anyone could take what they saw last night and make, what seemed to me, an incredibly outlandish statement. Comparing Ryan to Kennedy? Biden to Nixon? The only similarity I can draw from that is the age difference. But Biden, with his winning smile and laid back demeanor, is far from "old and crabby." And I'm sorry, but Paul Ryan comes off as just plain creepy in my eyes.
Now on to the actual debate. One article I read this morning put it best in stating, "Biden's goal was to defend the middle class. Ryan's was to defend Romney." And that is what I saw. Biden laying out plans, setting us straight to Ryan's many untruths, defending the 47% of America and more. Ryan told touching stories of Romney's character, attempting to humanize the face of the 1%. Joe Biden doesn't need to be humanized and neither does Barack Obama. Whether Obama is slow jamming the news or making preventive healthcare more affordable for women, or Biden is announcing support for same sex marriage or sitting with a family who has lost a son, brother, or husband and relating, letting them know that they are not alone, that he too has lost his family... they don't need to be humanized. We already know they are human. We have already seen them help us, or at least attempt to.

Mitt Romney wanted to "let Detroit go bankrupt" and Barack Obama wouldn't let them.
But Mitt Romney paid for the college education of two kids who were members of his congregation, who were in a car accident, and now I'm supposed to say, "oh, he's a great guy, I'll vote for him!"

I just don't think that's good enough. But nice try, Paul Ryan.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Almost there!!

I have never felt so big and uncomfortable in my life! The worst part is knowing that this isn't the worst of it! I am officially full term this weekend, but I still have three weeks to go until my due date. Being so close to the finish line makes each contraction more nerve-racking. Part of me just wants her out and the rest of me wants her to stay in there until the last possible second, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me physically!

I feel so blessed to have made it to this point, especially considering where I was just a few months ago.
These past months have been such a roller coaster, and I am so grateful for all the love and support from both mine and Andrew's families. I can't imagine how much more difficult this would have been without all the help, thoughts, and prayers.

So thank you, thank you, thank you!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Liberty and Justice For All

Now, don't get me wrong but, America was based on a foundation for religious freedom, right?
People got on boats, came to America, started new lives, to get away from the Church. You know the one I'm talking about. Well, that's the short version anyway.
So our country, this country, the United States of America, was built on the foundation of freedom, religious freedom in particular. And then we had slavery, and we realized it goes against said foundation of freedom. So slavery was abolished. And we were all "equals," another foundation of this country.
But then there was segregation and things weren't really equal after all, thus the civil rights movement. And  over time, we recognized how important equality was. So segregation was out, women could vote, and we were moving in the right direction.
Fast forward to 2012, we have made strides. Great strides. But there are still civil rights issues that for some reason, we just can't figure out. There is still racism, there is still discrimination, there is still a fight against sexuality.

Now, what I don't understand, and the fact that people are missing: our country was built on a separation of church and state.
There is more than one religion for a reason. America is based off freedom, "freedom of speech, freedom of religion," and so forth. Trying to force the beliefs of one religion down a nation, while you can argue it's your "free speech," it affects my freedom of religion.
Someone may believe homosexuality is a sin, but I don't. So should I be forced to have my laws created for your religious views? If you are so Christian, and you love the sinner, but hate the in, you could still give the sinner his rights to equality and freedom. Your faith doesn't make his laws. And your church does not have to recognize his marriage. Just like your church does not control our government.

Gay rights is a political issue, not a religious issue. All civil rights come down to the fact that equality is necessary in every state and every country. Religious and person views are preventing that. The government cannot continue it's attempt to make laws based on faith.

Friday, March 2, 2012

My Body, My Choice, My Right

I've been on bedrest so naturally I watch a lot of TV, something I've never really done before.
I've always had those specific shows I tried to catch on Wednesday or Thursday nights, but I rarely just sat down and flipped mindlessly through the channels like I do now.
But I have surprised myself. I have started watching the news! I live with two politicians so naturally, MSNBC is constantly on.
My new favorite website is MoveOn.Org. It provides the latest clips, updates, and articles on the hottest topics in politics, and it is, for the most part, directed at my demographic: young voters who sway towards the liberal viewpoint. For anyone who has been keeping up with the news, you know the biggest debate right now is over women's healthcare.
I feel like Senator Sanders said it best in this speech he gave:

The top comment on YouTube said it best, " The Obama plan enables Protestant women to use birth control while allowing Catholic women to choose not to use birth control.
That's religious freedom. All women should be free to choose the approach that fits their religious beliefs. Employers should not be attempting to impose their religious beliefs on their own employees in an area of life as private as family planning...
Respect the religious liberty rights of the individual."

I honestly believe that if any of the GOP candidates are elected, our nation will spiral back into the fifties, and all of the headway we have made in civil rights will be close to void.

Just look at the behavior Rush Limbaugh recently exhibited towards Sandra Fluke, calling her a slut because she stated that birth control could cost her up to $3000 during law school, roughly $1000 a year.

If my birth control hadn't been covered by my health insurance, it would cost me between $70 and $120 a month. Last year, my birth control was changed four times over a course of three months, for health reasons. Oral contraceptives help relieve women of heavy periods, severe cramping, and are used as a treatment method for cases of endometriosis.

I'm sorry the Catholic church and the Republican party would prefer that women suffer during that dreaded time of the month... maybe if they weren't all men they would actually be informed on the issue and understand the uses. And just because it goes against your belief, doesn't mean it goes against mine. It's my body, it's my choice, and it's my right. Not yours.

Also, congratulations to Maryland for becoming the 8th state to legalize gay marriage!

Sunday, February 19, 2012


I'm exhausted.
I lay in bed all day and I'm still tired.
My bones ache and my head is sore and I contribute the latter to my aching mind. I feel dull where I once felt sharp.

I'm bored.
I went from 15 hours of class and 30-40 hours of work a week, on top of maintaining some semblance of a social life, not to mention a romantic relationship, to laying in bed 23 hours and 30 minutes a day, seven days a week, with a cold pack over my eyes and a dog over my feet.

I know in the end, this will all be worth it. And in a couple weeks, the nausea and fatigue will subside. But then I realize, the only thing worse than being tired and sick in bed all day, would be feeling energetic and healthy in bed all day.

I'm tired now, but what happens when I wake up?