All You Need Is...

I love and I love hard. I love, and I love big. I don't take things in my arms and say, "hey, I'm gonna do this halfway." I take things in my arms and I hold on until I can't possibly hold on anymore; I hold on until there is nothing left to do but let go.
I am by no means saying this is the right way to love. There is no right way to love.

And there is no right way to let go. Sometimes we just let go because we have to. Sometimes people just slip out of our arms and there is no way to pick them back up. Or sometimes you try to pick them back up and just break your back in the process. And in the end, is it worth it?

Love is not forever. I know all those songs and movies go on about how love is everlasting and so on and so forth. And in a lot of ways, it is. The concept, I mean; love as a tangible thing. I think in this very blog I have written numerous times, "love will outlive us all." And it will. But love for one person, that does not last forever. I think it's possible to love and then let that love go. Or love from a distance, at the very least. I think we always care for the people in our lives, the people from our past. I think there are very few people who play major roles in your life that you eventually feel apathy for. And after all, isn't that the real opposite of love?

I don't really know what I'm going on about. I've been watching a lot of Grey's Anatomy and it makes me feel, but the outcome is almost always nonsensical.

Really, I think all anyone really wants is for someone to love them. And I think all anyone really wants is to love. But then there is the exception for every rule...

But... what else are we built for? People are made to nurture, to care for one another, to procreate. Not just people. Almost all mammals give birth and then raise their young. We care for one another. What is life without the ones we love?

People matter. That's all.

Chocolate, Tissues, and Issues

The other night I had a conversation with an old friend (of the male sex) that touched on the fact that women are rather odd creatures. In fact, the term he used was "baffling". This friend is rather intellectual and philosophical (whatever that really means) and so finds himself to be rather insightful (you can imagine each italicized word being said with a sarcastic, yet slightly jealous, air.)

In fact, I believe he said something along the lines of, "Women are the most incomprehensible subject I've come across, actually maybe the sole one. Your gender baffles me because (I think) your thought processes are, generally, so drastically different than mine."

To which I replied, basically, I agree.

Women are so completely ruled by their emotions that we are, I'm sorry, incredibly irrational beings. And I don't mean to generalize, because I'm sure there are so many of you out there who are strong, independent, rational women who would never ever let someone bring them to their knees, but, and this is in my experience only, even the most intellectual women can support the stereotype.

I can admit right now, I am not exempt. I am as crazy as they come. Sure, I talk a big game, and I'm so good at pretending to be rational. I can walk away when I know I absolutely need to. And I can think on my feet. I can take away from every experience, and I'm pretty good at moving on and (eventually) seeing things in perspective.

But I would be a liar if I said I haven't let my emotions completely rule my decisions. I've thrown temper tantrums. I've slammed doors. And this past year, I've learned to really raise my voice. I know what it's like to feel crazy, to even know that I am acting crazy, but feel as though someone drove me to that point. I'm not justifying it, (but I mean, I am) but is it really my fault? Even the tough guy act stems from some insecurities drawn from my irrational emotions. But who cares? Maybe women are … the way we are… to make up for all that men lack. I really doubt that all men think about is sex, but let's be honest, we all know at least a few, especially under the age of 30, who honestly only think about sex. And that doesn't mean he is a bad guy. He can still be nice or genuinely interested in what you have to say, but at the end of the day, he wants in your pants. Because he's a guy.

And once he's not thinking about sex all the time, he's probably thinking about money, or work, or just success in general.

I don't know. I'm emotional and crazy and completely irrational at times, but with all these feelings, at least I know I have a big heart. So whatever. I'm a stereotypical woman. It could be a lot worse, I could have a penis… I mean come on. Have you seen that thing?

So pass me those Ghirardelli chocolates and a box of tissues, because I'm about to settle down for a nice rom-com and have me a good cry.