Oh Darling Don't You Ever Grow Up

Last Christmas I wrote to Santa and asked to help me stay young for just a little longer. I had no idea just how little follow-through I would receive... I had to grow up - move into a "big girl" house, pay bills, go grocery shopping. But I guess I didn't have to grow up, I decided to. If I really wanted, I could move home, back in with my mom, go to school and work and not have to deal with all the responsibilities that come with keeping a house. I wouldn't have to go grocery shopping or pay rent, or worry about the utility bill. I could go back and though I can never be a kid again, I don't have to be a grown up yet either.

I turned 20 this week. I know in the big scheme of things, I'm still very young, and many would scoff at my "responsibilities" and concerns on "growing up". But twenty is significant. I am out of my teens, done with those confusing years, and on to preparing for the so called real world. I'm getting into the classes that deal directly with my major, I'm getting out of the habit of sleeping in, and I'm becoming financially responsible.

But tonight, I'm sitting at the table in the house I grew up in, talking to my mom and letting myself be consumed in the smells and comfort, even the lighting, of home.

And it's nice to know that if I decide to buy myself some time, I always have a place to do it.

“It’s harder to talk about, but what I really, really, really want for Christmas is just this: I want to be 5 years old again for an hour. I want to laugh a lot and cry a lot. I want to be picked or rocked to sleep in someone’s arms, and carried up to be just one more time. I know what I really want for Christmas: I want my childhood back. People who think good thoughts give good gifts.”
- Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten