I could write a how to book

They say it's easier to tell the truth than to lie.
Mark Twain agreed. "If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."

If that is true, why do I have such a hard time saying how I feel when you are standing in front of me, waiting for an honest response, but I can gift wrap bullshit and tie it in a bow like I am one of Santa's little helpers... It's practically an art form.

I know I've written about honesty before. About how I am not some huge liar, but if you expect me to tell you how I feel, you are so very mistaken.. but this is different.

This is about how, no matter how wrong lying may be, to some people, it just comes easy.
Sometimes, it's not any easier to tell the truth than to tell a lie.

I guess for some people, it just comes naturally.

I'm back

and better than ever.

I've got new rules, new plays, new lines.

I've got more to do and much less time.
But I'm going to fit it all in.

I've been living on my knees for a while, but I'm ready to breathe easy and dive back in.

I hope you know, I don't need you now.

I'm just keeping you around.

Quote of the day:

"I swear to everything when I leave this earth,

gonna be on both feet, never knees in the dirt."

11:11

I keep saying I don't when I really do.

I keep saying stop, when I want to move.

I keep saying go slow, but I'm gaining speed.

We don't say what we want, but we do what we need.

I have never made so many wishes in a day

On dandelions and eyelashes that I blow away

They leave my fingers for the currents of the wind

While I wait for 11:11 so I can wish it all again.

I have never seen so many shapes in the clouds

Laying in the grass, we don't say it out loud

On the tips of our tongues and our fingers too

It's 11:11 and I'm wishing for you.

I keep saying I don't when I really do.

I keep saying stop when I mean move.

I keep finding words with nothing to say.

And I've never made so many wishes in a day.

Dedication.

I've never touched you.

On rare occasion did I hear your voice directed at me, when not many miles away.

I've never looked in your eyes with a pounding heart in my chest or felt the electricity of anticipation pulsing from your fingertips.

But I've answered the phone at 2 AM and listened to your mumbled words, your thoughts tumbling incoherently from your lips, trying to decipher every word.

I've written words for the sole purpose that you would read them, that you would like them, find something inspiring in them.

I've gone out of my way to be clever just for your amusement, to grab hold of your attention.

I've basked in your compliments, laughed at your witticisms, and shrugged off your sly suggestions.

You said you like to play with fire and I'm the hottest thing on your plate.

I rolled my eyes.

But when you said you were an optimist,
I held on to every word.

You've been my intellectual stimulation, attraction, and my inspiration.

Have I ever said thank you?

If I was THAT type of girl..

Did you know girls like me ... "dont 'get' in love".
but man if i could fall in head over heels real love.. it would be with someone that made me laugh like he does, and smiles at me like he does, and even shakes his head at me like he does.
Cuz lord knows I'm a mess. and he sure knows it too.
But man if I could fall in love, we'd have the best time. And deep conversations about life and all the fucked up things about it, but how good and sweet it is because we have each other.
..On second thought, that makes me sick. Love is so overrated.
Love is for fools, not for me.

Sure, I've been around the block a time or two. I'm sure I've been in love before. But it can't have been the kind of love I'm talking about because after the initial heartbreak, it was so easy to let something else replace it. It was so hard at first, but then so easy to let it go.

I want a "you're my guy, i'm your girl, but you're also my best friend" kinda love. Where there is nothing too deep or too trivial to discuss and every one of my thoughts is heard, assessed.
I wonder if that love exists?

I bet we could create it.

Liberty and Justice For All

Now, don't get me wrong but, America was based on a foundation for religious freedom, right?
People got on boats, came to America, started new lives, to get away from the Church. You know the one I'm talking about. Well, that's the short version anyway.
So our country, this country, the United States of America, was built on the foundation of freedom, religious freedom in particular. And then we had slavery, and we realized it goes against said foundation of freedom. So slavery was abolished. And we were all "equals," another foundation of this country.
But then there was segregation and things weren't really equal after all, thus the civil rights movement. And  over time, we recognized how important equality was. So segregation was out, women could vote, and we were moving in the right direction.
Fast forward to 2012, we have made strides. Great strides. But there are still civil rights issues that for some reason, we just can't figure out. There is still racism, there is still discrimination, there is still a fight against sexuality.

Now, what I don't understand, and the fact that people are missing: our country was built on a separation of church and state.
There is more than one religion for a reason. America is based off freedom, "freedom of speech, freedom of religion," and so forth. Trying to force the beliefs of one religion down a nation, while you can argue it's your "free speech," it affects my freedom of religion.
Someone may believe homosexuality is a sin, but I don't. So should I be forced to have my laws created for your religious views? If you are so Christian, and you love the sinner, but hate the in, you could still give the sinner his rights to equality and freedom. Your faith doesn't make his laws. And your church does not have to recognize his marriage. Just like your church does not control our government.

Gay rights is a political issue, not a religious issue. All civil rights come down to the fact that equality is necessary in every state and every country. Religious and person views are preventing that. The government cannot continue it's attempt to make laws based on faith.

My Body, My Choice, My Right

I've been on bedrest so naturally I watch a lot of TV, something I've never really done before.
I've always had those specific shows I tried to catch on Wednesday or Thursday nights, but I rarely just sat down and flipped mindlessly through the channels like I do now.
But I have surprised myself. I have started watching the news! I live with two politicians so naturally, MSNBC is constantly on.
My new favorite website is MoveOn.Org. It provides the latest clips, updates, and articles on the hottest topics in politics, and it is, for the most part, directed at my demographic: young voters who sway towards the liberal viewpoint. For anyone who has been keeping up with the news, you know the biggest debate right now is over women's healthcare.
I feel like Senator Sanders said it best in this speech he gave:

The top comment on YouTube said it best, " The Obama plan enables Protestant women to use birth control while allowing Catholic women to choose not to use birth control.
That's religious freedom. All women should be free to choose the approach that fits their religious beliefs. Employers should not be attempting to impose their religious beliefs on their own employees in an area of life as private as family planning...
Respect the religious liberty rights of the individual."

I honestly believe that if any of the GOP candidates are elected, our nation will spiral back into the fifties, and all of the headway we have made in civil rights will be close to void.

Just look at the behavior Rush Limbaugh recently exhibited towards Sandra Fluke, calling her a slut because she stated that birth control could cost her up to $3000 during law school, roughly $1000 a year.

If my birth control hadn't been covered by my health insurance, it would cost me between $70 and $120 a month. Last year, my birth control was changed four times over a course of three months, for health reasons. Oral contraceptives help relieve women of heavy periods, severe cramping, and are used as a treatment method for cases of endometriosis.

I'm sorry the Catholic church and the Republican party would prefer that women suffer during that dreaded time of the month... maybe if they weren't all men they would actually be informed on the issue and understand the uses. And just because it goes against your belief, doesn't mean it goes against mine. It's my body, it's my choice, and it's my right. Not yours.


Also, congratulations to Maryland for becoming the 8th state to legalize gay marriage!